This episode we’re taking a look at Unknown Armies, a roleplaying game that’s not strictly horror, but is close enough that we feel little remorse for talking about it. We also have too many hardened notches to feel remorse in general. We’ve done bad things. One of these bad things is discussing many GM-only parts of the game, so be warned that we’re laying its secrets as bare as the Naked Goddess herself.


This is how I’ve always imagined her ascension video to look.

If you haven’t encountered Unknown Armies before, don’t worry —  it already knows everything about you. It’s a modern game about magical weirdness wielded by obsessed, broken people. Whether or not you are one of these broken people depends on the type of game you play, both at and away from the table. If all this sounds a bit vague, it’s only because Unknown Armies is a difficult game to pin down. We spent around 90 minutes trying to do so, and all we have to show for it are a single ripped stocking filled with dead wasps, a half-used pack of incontinence pants and a weird feeling in our pancreas. Yes, we all share a single pancreas now. Don’t ask.


But at least it’s prehensile.

While most of the Unknown Armies line is currently out of print, the second edition of the core book is still readily available, and a third edition is in playtest. As wonderful as the supplements are (and they are pretty damn wonderful) there is more than enough meat in the main rulebook to keep you and your players satisfied. And when we say “meat”, we’re speaking metaphorically. Probably. Unknown Armies is a strange, strange game.


Some of the pages are particularly well marbled.