Tales That Witness Madness (UK, 1973)

As a fan of a certain vintage, I adore creaky old British horror from the 1960s and ’70s. The classic Amicus portmanteau films are particular favourites, and Dr Terror’s House of Horrors, The House That Dripped Blood, and From Beyond the Grave have haunted me since I first watched them at an inadvisably young age. When writing my portion of The Final Revelation for Pelgrane Press some years back, I self-indulgently took the opportunity to turn my love of the form into an RPG scenario.

Despite this love, Tales That Witness Madness had eluded me until now. Like many other fans, I had believed it to be an Amicus film, but it turns out to have been made by World Film Services, cashing in on their rival’s success. Even so, a portmanteau film made by legendary horror director Freddie Francis was always going to be an easy sell for me.

Tales That Witness Madness is currently streaming on Shudder in the UK.

Synopsis

Framing Story

Dr Nicholas visits a psychiatric hospital where his colleague Dr Tremayne has been conducting trials of a new technique, claiming extraordinary results. The hospital is an antiseptically white Kubrick fever dream., with each patient trapped in a fugue state, locked in a cell that functions as a diorama of their delusions.

Of course, the events leading to the hospitalisation of each of these patients forms the basis of four tales that, um, witness madness. In the final sequence, we finally see what Dr Tremayne thinks he has accomplished. But is he the most delusional of all?

Mr Tiger

A young boy, Paul, is largely ignored by his bickering parents. They just refer to him as “the child” and leave him alone for hours as they go out to parties. Happily, Paul has a friend called Mr Tiger to keep him company, a rather more feral Hobbes to Paul’s Calvin. Neither we nor Paul’s parents can see Mr Tiger, so of course he must be imaginary, right?

This story is a brief one, resolving in the most obvious way possible. While there is some snappy dialogue and a few fun scenes of Paul stealing improbably large bones from the kitchen, there isn’t much of interest. The young actor playing Paul is surprisingly good, however.

Penny Farthing

Timothy, who owns an antique shop, has inherited a collection of furniture and knickknacks from his late aunt. This includes a photograph of “Uncle Albert”, which keeps changing expression when no one is looking, as well as Uncle Albert’s prized penny farthing bicycle.

Of course, this penny farthing is haunted. Or maybe the photograph is. Either way, Uncle Albert soon manifests, using his ghostly abilities to force young Timothy to ride the bicycle into the past. There he relives fond moments from Albert’s life, wobbling around a park in Victorian London and flirting with a young lady.

There is something screamingly absurd about a leering photograph using evil telekinesis to force someone to ride a penny farthing through time, yet the telling here is utterly humourless, played as if it were serious horror. Ultimately, it all feels a bit pointless.

Mel

The third story starts as a man called Brian discovers a horny tree in the woods and brings it home. The tree, which he names Mel, has an impressive hourglass figure, but it sheds dead leaves and bark all over the carpet, much to the irritation of Brian’s wife, Bella. Despite Bella’s protests, Brian continues sprucing up the tree, stripping her down and polishing wood as he reveals Mel’s hidden charms.

Of course, the weirdness escalates as Bella struggles with Mel for Brian’s affections. Mel is surprisingly animated for a tree, although this mostly involves her wiggling back and forth in a way that no one seems to notice. We even have a dream sequence where Bella is attacked by Mel in what feels like a prototype of the tree assault scene from The Evil Dead.

This is by far the best of the four tales, and probably the main reason anyone remembers Tales That Witness Madness.

Luau

Our final patient is a literary agent with an evil, scheming client. I suppose this is pretty standard for the profession. The agent tries to throw the kind of luau you would only find in the English suburbs, only to get drawn into a sinister plot involving black magic and cannibalism. This could have been the best segment, with its twisted manipulations and gory violence, but it falls tragically short.

Part of its failure lies in the offensive laziness of the antagonists being generic sinister foreigners of indeterminate ethnicity, doing generic sinister foreign things. This ends up being more confusing than racist, however, as we’re never entirely sure why they do these things. The tale builds to a dramatic conclusion which then kind of peters out, leaving us with an anti-climax. A bit more thought could have turned “Luau” into something interesting, but instead it just feels unfinished.

General Thoughts

Tales That Witness Madness is the kind of no-nonsense horror film that doesn’t waste time with setups and rationales. We are plunged into each story, and especially the framing sequence, with no preamble. This is something I normally enjoy, but here it feels empty and superficial. There is something almost mechanical about the storytelling, dispensing what we need to know like spoonfuls of pablum. It’s efficient, but it’s bland.

While it differs in a number of important respects, the framing device in Tales That Witness Madness feels borrowed from Asylum — an earlier Amicus film, penned by Robert Bloch. In both films, a psychiatrist is led through a hospital, meeting patients and learning their horrifying stories. It’s hard not to see this as a deliberate imitation, given how much else is borrowed from the Amicus model.

The screenplay was written by Jennifer Jayne, using the pen name of Jay Fairbank. While Jayne was best known as an actress, she wrote a few horror films under this male pseudonym. I’m not sure if she chose to use the pen name as a way of separating her two careers, but it’s not hard to imagine her trying to circumvent the sexism of the time.

Verdict

Portmanteau films are, pretty much by definition, a mixed bag. This especially applies to Tales That Witness Madness. I found myself running hot and cold throughout. In the end, I couldn’t decide if I liked it, and I’m still struggling to do so now. There are definitely inspired moments, particularly in “Mel”, but most of the segments struggle to gain traction or deliver much of interest.

The two main flaws with the script are, at least in my opinion, that it’s largely unadventurous and that it takes itself too seriously. When you’re telling tales about an imaginary tiger that eats people or a time-travelling penny-farthing, you either need to be uncommonly good at finding the horror in your premise or embrace the inherent campiness. Sadly, Tales That Witness Madness does neither.

Despite these flaws, the stronger moments go a long way towards carrying the film, as do the striking set design of the psychiatric hospital and the spirited performances of most of the cast. Joan Collins, Kim Novak, and Donald Pleasance are as good value as ever, and while Jack Hawkins may be a bit wooden here, he still has a commanding presence. All this makes the film watchable, and even sporadically entertaining. Even so, the overall experience pales in comparison to the Amicus films it so desperately wants to be.

The October Horror Movie Challenge

Please do join in and share your own thoughts with us about this or any other films as the month goes on. You can usually find us on Twitter, BlueSky, Reddit, Discord, or lurking in the dark corners of your home.

If you would like to play along at home, my provisional selections are:

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (USA, 2021)
Tales That Witness Madness (UK, 1973)
When Evil Lurks (Argentina, 2023)
Under Paris (France, 2024)
In a Violent Nature (Canada, 2024)
Torso (Italy, 1973)
Titane (France, 2021)
Rorschach (USA, 2015)
The Coffee Table (Spain, 2024)
Dr Caligari (USA, 1989)
Bit (USA, 2020)
The Guard From Underground (Japan, 1992)
Oddity (Ireland, 2024)
Speak No Evil (Denmark/Netherlands, 2022)
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (USA, 1982)
Grave Torture (Indonesia, 2024)
Bedlam (USA, 1946)
The Innsmouth School For Girls (USA, 2023)
Daddy’s Head (UK, 2024)
All You Need Is Death (Ireland, 2024)
Eight Eyes (USA/Serbia, 2021)
Poor Things (Ireland/UK/USA, 2023)
Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye (Italy, 1973)
Longlegs (USA, 2024)
Night of Fear (Australia, 1973)
Stopmotion (UK, 2024)
Terrifier (USA, 2016)
Azrael (USA, 2024)
Faust (Germany, 1926)
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (Hong Kong, 1991)
I Saw the TV Glow (USA, 2024)

A Final Note

If you have been enticed here by these posts, please do look around at some of our other film reviews. We also have a podcast, called The Good Friends of Jackson Elias, which occasionally covers horror films. If this appeals, you might want to check out some of the following episodes.