The Coffee Table (Spain, 2022)

As in previous years, I’ve picked a few films pretty much randomly from the streaming services I have. All I knew going into The Coffee Table was that it was a Spanish production and that the reviews were largely positive. This was enough to convince me to give it a try, as I’ve generally had good luck with Spanish horror.

The Coffee Table is currently streaming on Shudder in the UK.

Synopsis

I’m going to be careful to avoid spoilers here. A lot of The Coffee Table‘s power comes from the shocks it dishes out, and I don’t want to soften those. I’ll just warn that it goes to some unexpectedly dark places and doesn’t hold back when it does. If you have specific triggers, especially involving children, check the content warnings before watching.

Jesus and Maria, a middle-aged, middle-class Spanish couple, have finally had their first child after years of trying. They are redecorating their apartment, a process that Maria has largely managed. Jesus is frustrated at her refusal to let him make decisions, and finally puts his foot down when they disagree over buying a gaudy new coffee table.

This is just a symptom of larger stresses in their relationship, as Jesus feels sidelined by their new son. His situation is not helped by Ruth, the teenage daughter of their neighbours, who has developed a crush on Jesus and wants him to leave his wife for her. And, worst of all, the new coffee table is missing a screw.

All of this, of course, leads to blood and tragedy. As family comes to visit, Jesus finds himself trying to keep an awful secret, with tensions rising to deadly levels.

General Thoughts

From around 20 minutes in to the one-hour mark, The Coffee Table is one relentless anxiety attack. It reminded me of some of the pitch-dark thrillers Charlie Higson wrote before he turned to YA fiction. This is a dark, nasty, tale, but still absurd and often uncomfortably funny.

A lot of comedy/horror films are made up of horrific moments softened by jokes. Here, however, the horror and comedy are completely intertwined. It is an absurd situation, pushed to extremes, making you recoil in horror and laugh at the same time. It might have been at home in Chris Morris’s nightmarish TV sketch show Jam.

Verdict

The Coffee Table comes close to being a great film, but is ultimately let down by its pacing. The first act is exceptional, shifting effortlessly from black comedy to family drama to absolutely shocking horror. It sets up a nightmarish situation and wrings every last drop of tension from it. Not many horror films have hit me as hard as the first half hour of The Coffee Table did.

The problem lies in maintaining this tension, giving us a third act whose returns steadily diminish. Trimming 15 minutes might have fixed this, saving the story from sagging when it desperately needed to ramp things up. At least the ending pays off beautifully, with one stunning blow after another.

For all the shocks, there are some real laughs here. The character of the salesman, in particular, is great comic relief. His sheer ineptitude in his work and even as a social animal makes him endearingly awful. And even some of the darker scenes are accompanied by some terrific character comedy. I may not quite categorise The Coffee Table as a comedy, but it is far funnier than I’d anticipated.

Despite its faults and my warnings about its subject matter, I’d still recommend The Coffee Table for anyone looking for something dark and uncomfortable this month. Just approach with caution if you’re a parent.

The October Horror Movie Challenge

Please do join in and share your own thoughts with us about this or any other films as the month goes on. You can usually find us on Twitter, BlueSky, Reddit, Discord, or lurking in the dark corners of your home.

If you would like to play along at home, my provisional selections are:

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (USA, 2021)
Tales That Witness Madness (UK, 1973)
When Evil Lurks (Argentina, 2023)
Under Paris (France, 2024)
In a Violent Nature (Canada, 2024)
Torso (Italy, 1973)
Titane (France, 2021)
Rorschach (USA, 2015)
The Coffee Table (Spain, 2024)
Dr Caligari (USA, 1989)
Bit (USA, 2020)
The Guard From Underground (Japan, 1992)
Oddity (Ireland, 2024)
Speak No Evil (Denmark/Netherlands, 2022)
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (USA, 1982)
Grave Torture (Indonesia, 2024)
Bedlam (USA, 1946)
The Innsmouth School For Girls (USA, 2023)
Daddy’s Head (UK, 2024)
All You Need Is Death (Ireland, 2024)
Eight Eyes (USA/Serbia, 2021)
Poor Things (Ireland/UK/USA, 2023)
Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye (Italy, 1973)
Longlegs (USA, 2024)
Night of Fear (Australia, 1973)
Stopmotion (UK, 2024)
Terrifier (USA, 2016)
Azrael (USA, 2024)
Faust (Germany, 1926)
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (Hong Kong, 1991)
I Saw the TV Glow (USA, 2024)

A Final Note

If you have been enticed here by these posts, please do look around at some of our other film reviews. We also have a podcast, called The Good Friends of Jackson Elias, which occasionally covers horror films. If this appeals, you might want to check out some of the following episodes.