The Innsmouth School for Girls (USA, 2024)

Sometimes, a title is enough to sell me. I am easily swayed. So when I was scrolling through streaming services seeking inspiration for this month, The Innsmouth School for Girls leapt out at me like frisky salmon. I wasn’t expecting it to be good, but it looked like it might be fun to review. And the surprisingly good Call Girl of Cthulhu taught me not to judge films by their titles too readily. So let’s see what’s lurking in Innsmouth this time.

The Innsmouth School for Girls is currently streaming on Prime Video in the UK.

Synopsis

Roberta Olmstead is the newest student at the Innsmouth School for Girls, which provides scholarships for orphaned young women in their twenties. Don’t think too hard about it. This isn’t that kind of film.

The other students are less than welcoming, behaving like stereotypical mean girls and hazing Roberta with a dead fish named Howard. While the staff are less hostile, their sullen manner, flaking skin, and dark goggles are still off-putting. At least Roberta has a gratuitous love interest to fall back on, although it seems a bit weird flirting with a man who just asked you to help find his missing sister.

So what is the sinister secret behind the school? What happened to the the missing teacher? And will the budget stretch to multiple Deep Ones?

General Thoughts

The Innsmouth School For Girls was clearly made by Lovecraft fans. It is stuffed to the gills with references to “The Shadow Over Innsmouth”. As well as character names like Roberta Olmstead, Barnabas Marsh, Joe Sargent, and Mrs Tilton, we have a scene set in the Esoteric Order of Dagon (“the only church in Innsmouth”) alongside other fishy Easter eggs.

The biggest clue that this was made by fans, however, is a moment where Lori, the chief mean girl, catches Roberta’s mention of “Devil’s Reef”, retorting that it’s “Devil Reef”. There is also a fun gag where a language app on a tablet recognises R’lyehian and starts translating it unbidden.

As you’ve probably guessed, this film has no budget. Most of the makeup effects look to have been done with wood glue, and the Esoteric Order of Dagon might be the storeroom of a high school’s art department, filled with half-finished projects. There are some nice miniatures of Innsmouth itself, however, giving us establishing shots that make the town feel almost real.

The credits state outright that most of the cast had no acting experience. Even so, their performances aren’t as bad as you might fear. The acting is decidedly not natural, but this often suits the cheesy dialogue.

The school setting, while a fun riff on the original story, feels creepy in places. Some scenes could come out of a Porky’s-style teen comedy from the eighties, especially those in the girls’ changing room. There’s no actual nudity, but it still comes across as voyeuristic. I felt a little less grubby when the film confirmed that the “girls” were in their twenties, but that just opened up a whole new set of questions.

There is a surprising amount of fish kissing in this film. No judgement, but it feels like a very specific fetish.

Verdict

I’m really not sure who The Innsmouth School for Girls was made for. It is basically a cheap, slightly suggestive comedy that is unlikely to make you laugh, married to a horror film that won’t scare you. It only really works as a playful variation on “The Shadow Over Innsmouth”. Lovecraft fans may have fun, but others will probably be left scratching their heads.

Even so, The Innsmouth School for Girls has heart and ambition. It feels like a labour of love rather than a cynical cash grab, and I suspect those involved had a fun time making it. It’s not a good film by any means, but I found enough to enjoy to make me glad I watched it.

The October Horror Movie Challenge

Please do join in and share your own thoughts with us about this or any other films as the month goes on. You can usually find us on Twitter, BlueSky, Reddit, Discord, or lurking in the dark corners of your home.

If you would like to play along at home, my provisional selections are:

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (USA, 2021)
Tales That Witness Madness (UK, 1973)
When Evil Lurks (Argentina, 2023)
Under Paris (France, 2024)
In a Violent Nature (Canada, 2024)
Torso (Italy, 1973)
Titane (France, 2021)
Rorschach (USA, 2015)
The Coffee Table (Spain, 2024)
Dr Caligari (USA, 1989)
Bit (USA, 2020)
The Guard From Underground (Japan, 1992)
Oddity (Ireland, 2024)
Speak No Evil (Denmark/Netherlands, 2022)
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (USA, 1982)
Grave Torture (Indonesia, 2024)
Bedlam (USA, 1946)
The Innsmouth School For Girls (USA, 2023)
Daddy’s Head (UK, 2024)
All You Need Is Death (Ireland, 2024)
Eight Eyes (USA/Serbia, 2021)
Poor Things (Ireland/UK/USA, 2023)
Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye (Italy, 1973)
Longlegs (USA, 2024)
Night of Fear (Australia, 1973)
Stopmotion (UK, 2024)
Terrifier (USA, 2016)
Azrael (USA, 2024)
Faust (Germany, 1926)
Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (Hong Kong, 1991)
I Saw the TV Glow (USA, 2024)

A Final Note

If you have been enticed here by these posts, please do look around at some of our other film reviews. We also have a podcast, called The Good Friends of Jackson Elias, which occasionally covers horror films. If this appeals, you might want to check out some of the following episodes.